The Westering Hills

Call me morbid, call me pale. . .

Friday, June 09, 2006

Best Meme Ever

Alright, the meme that I've had simmering in my brain for quite awhile now has finally come to fruition: the Ugly Photo Meme! I'd wanted to try and start this for months now but figured that nobody would play along because a.) most people immediately trash or hide away in the dark corners of boxes in the attics their worst photos of themselves and b.) they wouldn't have the courage to post them and, since misery loves company, I would have felt odd doing this meme all by myself. In short, I am an abject coward. So I never broached it publicly.

But then darling Schnozzalina took up the banner and waved it high! I'm so proud, sniff! How can I not play along? I can't not play along, I simply can't!

1. Share the worst photo of yourself you have, preferrably a reasonably current one.

This was a photo taken of me "sneezing" a year ago, so it is relatively recent. I say "sneezing" because it was a fake sneeze; I was with Anne and snapped a photo of her truly sneezing (or maybe it was coughing, I can't recall). I then felt so badly for doing it, I offered to have her snap me in return. Fake or not, the result is quite hideous. It really makes my accursed weak chin stand out and my embiggened nostrils quite ginormous--the two parts of my face besides my nose (always large so no big whoop) that I loathe. Oh, and let's not forget the temporary Double Chin Syndrome! Ta da!:

How hideous. On to the next part of the meme!

2. Share a current photo of yourself when you've just woken up. Walk into the bathroom and just take it, under the harsh bathroom lights.

This is me this morning. Again, note the weak chin, pronounced by the fact that I wore my mouth guard all night (which no, I did not keep in for the photo, SHUT UP, IT IS NOT CHEATING TO REMOVE IT!). I often will delete pictures based on my weak chin. Sigh. It ain't getting any stronger so I may as well resign myself to the fact that I have one but that won't stop me from bemoaning its existence! To all of you with normal to strong chins, rejoice in your gift!

Ack! How on earth Barrett can wake up next to that every morning is beyond me. And like Schnozz pointed out, the puffiness! Okay, let's move on, shall we?

3. Share the nicest photo of yourself that you have, again preferrably a current one.

We have about 20 gazillion photos on our two computers and I simply do not have the energy to go through them all. What comes to mind is a photo in a series of photos taken last September at a pub. We were with a group of friends and Barrett was taking photos by laying the camera on the table amidst all the beer glasses and just shooting. I really love the series taken of me--the amber color, the angle, and the fact that I almost don't look like myself in any of them. Oddly, I look like a cross between my mother and my mother's mother at my age. Here's my favorite:
Oh, if only one could be cast in a soft candlelight glow at all times! Sigh.

4. Special category--whatever you'd like!
I will choose two photos that I do not like of myself, if for no other reason then to exorcise the Ugly Photo demon from my camera (I hope). Maybe if I offer these up as sacrifices, the camera will be nicer to me from hereafter.

This photo wins in the category of Cutest Kitten/Stupidest-Looking Human. I suppose I was attempting to show how adorable I felt this kitten was but instead ended up with the most simpering moue on my face. I just wanna bitchslap myself:

Lastly, I present Most Bucktoothed Eleven-Year Old in the Seventies Wearing A Really Bad Terrycloth Shirt, and I mean Really Really Bad. Feel free to click on it to really get a sense of the bucktoothedness in its full glory:
It's difficult, however, for me to hate this photo of myself, simply because we had so much fun with these two neighbor boys for many years of my childhood. Here's a bit of a celebrity trivia regarding this photo: the boy on the left, Derek, my first "boyfriend" (by which I mean we announced we were "going out" but that was about it), went on to become a neurosurgeon in Las Vegas--he was the surgeon that operated on and saved Roy Horn's brain a few years ago. You remember, Seigfried & Roy, Roy was mauled by a tiger, blah blah blah? Yep, my first boyfriend had his 15 minutes of fame! Here he is at a press conference around that time:
I miss those guys! Haven't seen them since I was a teenager. Good times in bad clothing indeed!

So now I wanna know: WHO'S NEXT? I tag everyone.

P. S. - If you do play along, please visit the aforementioned Schnozz's blog so she can add you to the master list of players!

9 Comments:

  • At 9:06 AM, Blogger annelynn said…

    Hopefully I'll join the fray Monday!

    This is fabulous, Shan. I actually really like the kitten-Shannon shot! It made me snort with laughter. Which... I guess that's not necessarily the effect one wants to go for in one's photographs. Still, I like that shot - it shows your pretty blue eyes off!

    Ahhh, the terry cloth shirt. I remember them well. That and velour. Ugh.

    I don't have a digital cam, so I won't be able to do the first thing in the morning shot... suffice to say I look as puffy and bleary eyed as everyone else.

    You've given me some good ideas for my own ugly photo meme!

    What a great idea this is. Thank you!

     
  • At 10:04 AM, Anonymous sher said…

    I loved looking at your pictures--which weren't bad at all (compared to mine). Let's see, several years ago, I adopted the belief that having a picture steals your soul, so I usually flee when I see a camera. But, I'll think on it and see if I can summon up the courage.

     
  • At 11:36 AM, Anonymous jeci said…

    I'm here via Anne's blog and I'm so excited that there's someone that can relate to the buck teeth at eleven. Although, I have to say, your teeth really weren't bad AT ALL compared to mine, which came screaming out of my mouth in all directions. My 11mm overbite had to be corrected by braces (with elastics--gah!) and...HEAD GEAR. Oh God, the horror.

    I'm so doing the meme. You bemoan your weak chin (I don't agree!), but just wait until I reveal the plight of us strong chinned. Sometimes it just plain makes a girl look like a man with a wig on.

     
  • At 1:50 PM, Blogger Shannon said…

    Sher, you should at least post one photo of yourself. We've never seen you, only your delicious dishes!

    Jeci, thanks for visiting and hopefully playing! Oh, I had the overbite, braces, and elastics, too! Not the headgear, thank goodness, although I do seem to recall Anne with headgear (that she rarely wore and who could blame her?). My two eyeteeth came in at the tops of my gums like a vampire; the braces had to rollercoaster up to meet them and drag them back down with the rest of the teeth! I still have an overbite.

     
  • At 4:25 PM, Blogger Binulatti said…

    Love it! And maybe, just maybe, I'll have the chutzpah to participate (no promises!)...But it made me think: us ladies and our struggles with strong/weak chins, overbite/buckteethyness, shortness, ass-expansion, etc, ad nauseum...we just pale in comparison with the curse of malehood as depicted by your first boyfriend: MALE PATTERN BALDNESS. Ahahahahah! You tell me what's worse: mouthguards or comb-overs. Comb-overs. Clearly.

     
  • At 5:58 PM, Blogger Schnozz said…

    I LOVE the kitty/human picture. Seriously, so cute! Not a bad picture at all. Sure, you look a little goofy, but like you're SUPPOSED to look goofy. And as long as it's attractive goofiness, who cares. :)

     
  • At 7:48 PM, Blogger Shannon said…

    Karrie, it's true. Poor Derek--he had such a head of hair on him as a kid, too!

    Schnozz, goofy is the best word to describe that photo and since I wasn't going for goofy, I think that's why I hate it so. It is very amusing to look at, however!

     
  • At 8:32 PM, Anonymous Jenny said…

    What I love most about the picture from your wild, kill-crazed youth is the side-view portrait on the wall above you. Tres '70s!!!

    I don't think I've allowed anyone to take my picture in about 5 years.

     
  • At 10:26 AM, Blogger noodlepunklee said…

    Hi. I know this may seem kind of random and weird lol, but did you have teeth extracted for braces as a when you were younger?

     

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